Hey Pixel, I don’t know you but I at one point was where you are now. I understand everyone goes through some shit but you need to look at it like this; It won’t always be bad, there is always a reason to stay positive and you just need to find yours. Trust me Pixel, you will be just fine and you just need a bit of help.
I'm not exactly fit to give you advice aside from my own personal issues and my own insight. I hope you stay strong and go out for some official help from someone, as I'm just a random guy on the forums. I just want you to know that people do care, and that you should keep going and stay strong.
A lot of people feel same. It sucks having these issues and it's even worse when you just want them to go away, but remember Theres people out there to help you. And remember, life is hard for everyone, but the good moments outweigh the bad. Give it time. This year or the past few years may be hard, but do you see yourself having the same problems 5 or 10 years from now? Just keep pushing through and live life.
It's hard to go through with it but obviously easy to stay dead, but is it really worth to have a permanent solution to a temporary problem? You only live once, and even though life is hard, you keep pushing on so you can experience life, with good, bad, and in between moments. It's worth it in the long run.
It absolutely isn't for the better. There's still great things that come from being alive, and though it's really tough and unforgiving at times, in the end it's worth it because you got to experience so many different things, meet great people, and do whatever you wanted to do. If you're actually feeling that way, then don't give up. Live for those great moments.