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SCP-2337 "The Guide"

NinjaJab

Active
Member

SCP-2337 RP Guide
The official guide to our favorite little CACKman.

1
The Scenario

You... you are despised by most of Concordia, a nuisance, a pest, a terrible affront against nature... these words perfectly describe you. You are the cackman, and you are in your habitat. But what's this? You want to be the most thorough cackman in the history of cackmen? Well, have I got the guide for you!

2
The gibberish
Right now you're probably thinking, "The gibberish? Are you mad? It's gibberish how could it be simpler!" And that's where'd you be MADLY wrong. The cackmen of legend that strike fear and joy into our hearts are not just madmen for the sake of being madmen! NO, they have a code, a simple idea that must be kept. Keep a composure to your insanity, gibberish doesn't need to be gibberish! Now, a commoner portraying our lord 2337 may simply go, "The bottle of dry caterpillars screams of teeth!" But this is all to simple... it lacks majesty to put it simply. Now a cackman who has been hardened by the elements would most likely say something along the lines of this during a sticky situation, "The veal of hate to corn power! Bridge court of crunch!!! CACK!" Now to someone without the proper etiquette this may seem like nonsense, and that is exactly why it is perfect. This sentence is actually perfectly legible to those with experience in the field. Let me explain...

3
The Language

If you are to be a proper 2337 you need something that sets you apart... something that makes you, you! And this is where the majesty of the cacks comes into play! A word can mean anything given proper context, even such a simple phrase as, "Juice Python" can bewilder and frighten, given proper context. If you give your words meaning then meaning will come to them! And meaning to others! Let's dissect the sentence above, "The veal of hate to corn power-". Now, for me, "Veal" is SCP-682, and corn power is the name of 2337 when angry. "Bridge court of crunch!" Now this one may be a bit confusing to those out there... but a bridge is a door, court is to kill, and crunch is... onomatopoeia (Nothing more). This makes the sentence into... "SCP-2337 when angry, hate's SCP-682. He can kill doors with a crunch." Now it still makes little sense, but that is the beauty is it not?

4
Knowledge

SCP-2337 may seem like the pinnacle of a log when it comes to his smarts, but that is completely incorrect. SCP-2337 is quite an intellectual, knowledgeable little log and knows more than his fair share of information. Did you know? SCP-2337 has shown knowledge of many SCP, and said SCP seem to value SCP-2337 as an authority figure? Yes... 2337 is a mad genius among us simpletons, but roleplaying as such a god is possible if you give it the right care.

5
Behavior

SCP-2337 is normally thought of as Docile and friendly, and for the most part, you'd be correct. But if you ever even decide to utter cack to SCP-2337, you have sinned. And we all know what happens to sinners when they confront god. Let us say, he will not forgive your actions so easily.
Take this for example:

SCP-343 had been imitating SCP-2337, saying cack, and obviously this annoyed him to no end!
SCP-343 tried to pick him up and... one way or another SCP-343 was handless for a moment!

So basically, be friendly, kind, happy when you need to. But if someone tries to cack on you? Show them why they call you Dr. Spanko.

6
Fear.

Many... many people fear of playing SCP-2337 because of hate, because they don't want to be despised by the whole community. But you know what? Does SCP-2337 care? No. SCP-2337 is the one creature in this world, who truly makes sense even though he doesn't. He loves all unless they tread on him and is incredibly smart. He's a perfect entity, yet the community complains. Is it because he's perfect? No. It is because he is loud. SCP-2337 asks for one simple request, sustenance. And when not delivered he brings forth justice, yet the server, the community... they treat it as an assault, instead of a defense. So... as cackmen, cackbrothers we will stand against this tyranny, this injustice! We will brave against hate, we will embrace it! WE WILL BE GODS!

so, I hope you enjoyed my little guide on how to roleplay for SCP-2337 correctly. I might edit some stuff? I don't know. I hope your mind has expanded, and you have been enlightened to the knowledge of SCP-2337. Bon Voyage, and get Cacking my brothers. get cacking.

7
ear damage
People don't seem to understand 2337's raw power. It's quite annoying to be honest. Earlier today while R cacking an SO came in without headphones and completely voided his ears imploding on themselves. So I have edited this to add a section for those interacting with SCP-2337.
If you walk into SCP-2337's chamber when he's normal. You'll most likely have pain in your ears or a headache for a bit, thus is the way of 2337. 90 Db is the noise of a Boeing 737, this is SCP-2337's minimum volume. You could very well go deaf if your interaction is too long with 2337 without headphones.
Now... if you walk into the room while he is R cacking, you will have headaches, that is a fact, as R Cacking is really... really loud. Think about it, it's as loud as a normal cack in HCZ. Think about how far that is, through multiple concrete and metal walls. Walking up against that with no headphones? You're deaf. You just are! To give you a quote from the article of SCP-2337:
"Upon containment, SCP-2337 appeared to take hostile action against Foundation personnel, emitting blasts of noise that ruptured the eardrums of 3 agents. Upon later examination, it was revealed that SCP-2337 was attempting to make friendly conversation."
Not even at his loudest he causes this... now in an enraged state, a louder state? You may as well kiss your ears, brain, generally any internal organs, and your children goodbye. You will d i e. Simple as that. Like a pop. You're gone. and he didn't even mean to do it.

May we pay respects to SID Heavy Hernandez. The first man to decipher my language as 2337, a true god on earth. His life was struck down too soon, too quick. We may press F now, but we must press W, and move on. It is what he would have wanted.

"Veal fizzy?" -Hernandez
 
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Harris Press

Turbo Tier
ULTRA MEGA USER
Member
You know what. Good for you for making a guide for immersion. Not a lot of people make them and even though you made it for the worst SCP you are still making a contribution to the server and roleplay.
 

Volf

God Tier
Member
You know what. Good for you for making a guide for immersion. Not a lot of people make them and even though you made it for the worst SCP you are still making a contribution to the server and roleplay.
This makes me wanna do one for 912 now
 

Komrade Seals

Active
Member
I love it!

"Upon containment, SCP-2337 appeared to take hostile action against Foundation personnel, emitting blasts of noise that ruptured the eardrums of 3 agents. Upon later examination, it was revealed that SCP-2337 was attempting to make friendly conversation."
Not even at his loudest he causes this... now in an enraged state, a louder state? You may as well kiss your ears, brain, generally any internal organs, and your children goodbye. You will d i e. Simple as that. Like a pop. You're gone. and he didn't even mean to do it.
To put it into perspective just how loud it is, when 2337 was used in a termination attempt against 682, it destroyed one of the walls in 682's CC with a single 'CACK'.
 

Monstrosity

Forum Rookie
Member
Great guide, I’m amazed. Seems really hard to teach yourself a bunch of gibberish with plenty of hidden meanings. Good work.
However, it’s a shame that SID Heavy Hernandez is no longer with us.. It’s all up to SID Supervisor Penya.
 
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